


The Lyrical Mashups That Should Not Be

by Darkstarling



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Guys and Dolls (1955), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Moana (2016), The Little Mermaid (1989), The Sound of Music - Rodgers/Hammerstein/Lindsay & Crouse
Genre: Gen, Song Lyrics, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 19:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18505297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkstarling/pseuds/Darkstarling
Summary: Silly songs mashing up Broadway and other things. Blame my best friend.





	1. Ariel's Lament

Adelaide's Lament (Guys and Dolls)/The Little Mermaid

The average aquatic female,  
princess and quite secure,  
due to some long frustration may react  
with strong terraphillic symptoms  
difficult to endure  
regarding the surface men she can attract

In other words, just from collecting the human things that come in the flows  
a poisson can develop some toes  
You can hide her forever away from wherever the humans lurk  
You can take a pot shot at whatever she's got but it just won't work  
When she's tired of getting the crab eye from that singing jerk,  
A poisson can develop some toes

The female remaining submerged,  
just cause of dad's decrees  
Shows a neurotic tendency see note*  
*note: psychosomatic symptoms  
of nonexistent knees  
Involving a walk and dance and lack of float  
In other words, just from wanting to be in that world cause humans are neat  
A poisson can develop some feet

You can bug her all day with a singing ray or a giant pearl  
But the lecturing never does anything but set her head awhirl.  
If she's off and saving a prince who says she's his dream girl  
a poisson can develop some feet.

And furthermore just from banning and banning and banning the surface sighs  
a poisson can develop some thighs  
When they get on the current for Venice, and she can hear the churchbells chime,  
the jellyfish gently glowing, and the mood sublime,  
and you get off to go to Atlantis for the FOURTEENTH TIME...  
a poisson can develop the thighs the thighs the ankles and thighs

And the snarfblat, and the gadgets, and the dingbob that's really a pip!  
From a smothering family setup, and some nasty fatherly rows,  
A poisson can develop some nice nice toes.


	2. Do Re Mi Sunnydale Remix

Do Re Mi (The Sound of Music)/Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Do not move to Sunnydale  
Re, the light vampires hate  
Mi ster Pointy is my stake  
Fa ly's kissing dead(ish) boys  
So the world's ending again  
La, the place that demons go  
Ti what Giles drinks with scones...  
That he makes from the Do do do do...


	3. Thanos  Says You're Welcome

You're Welcome (Moana)/Avengers: Infinity War

Ok, ok, I see what's happening here  
You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange  
You don't even know how you feel  
It's adorable!  
Well, it's nice to see that humans never change  
Open your eyes, let's begin  
Yes, it's really me, it's Thanos: breathe it in!  
I know it's a lot: the chin, the glove!  
When you're staring at a lot to love  
What can I say except you're welcome  
For the food, the plants, the space  
Hey, it's okay, it's okay  
You're welcome  
I'm just a member of the Titan race  
Hey!  
What has a sweet knife that fixed Zehoberei  
When you were waddling at three  
Me!  
When the nights got cold  
Who rained fire from up in space?  
You're lookin' at him, ace  
Oh, also I threatened a god  
You're welcome!  
To bring a gem for gauntlet mod  
Also I harnessed a star  
You're welcome!  
For our great work no time will mar  
So what can I say except you're welcome  
For the places I killed with no glee  
There's no need to pray, it's okay  
You're welcome!  
Ha, I guess it's just my way of being me  
You're welcome!  
You're welcome!  
Well, come to think of it  
Kid, honestly I can go on and on  
I can explain every cosmic phenomenon  
Chitauri, Ronan, the Maw, oh  
That was all Thanos just laying the law  
I took a luphmoid  
I pulled out her guts  
Raised up a cyborg assassin who’s nuts  
What's the lesson  
What is the take-away  
Don't mess with Thanos when he's on the break-away  
And the dark army that gives you a thrill  
It shows you all the great strength of my will  
Look where I've been  
I’ve saved everyone's future  
Only I have the power to cut out the tumor  
Well, anyway let me say you're welcome  
For the great galaxies you know  
Hey, it's okay, it's okay  
You're welcome!  
Well, come to think of it, you gotta go  
Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome  
'Cause I'm gonna need your soul  
I'm flying away, away  
You're welcome!  
'Cause Thanos knows the Soul Stone take a toll  
You're welcome!  
You're welcome!  
And thank you!


End file.
